This past month has been pretty great. I've been so happy. I'm loving life, loving my husband, my family and friends...even my job. There have been moments where I've stepped back and realized I'm perfectly content with my life. It's a wonderful kind of serenity, whether hormone-induced or not.
I still faithfully follow my baby-making plan, though. I take my temperature every morning, drink special teas at night, practice yoga, take my vitamins, and avoid alcohol (well, I may have slipped up once). These little things have become almost a ritual, and life as I know it has become pretty great.
I was speaking with my mom this morning about how emotional I've been over the past month. She mentioned to me how sensitive we all are around the holidays. She told me that, oftentimes, we get so focused on what we do not have, that we forget to be grateful for what we have in front of us. The pressure of the holidays can get to everyone - we all want Christmas to be perfect - and that thought tends to lead us to ignore what actually is perfect about the holidays and what this holiday season is all about. And I think that's what I was getting at around Thanksgiving. I've been feeling so badly for myself that I've forgotten to remember that I am extraordinarily luck. And so, I vowed to be thankful for what is right in front of me. And I've stuck to my promise.
Which is why I'm grateful for little victories. My basal body temperature has been holding steady since I started on fertility treatments which, in and of itself, is a small victory. Before starting on the Clomid, my monthly temperature chart looked like a child's drawing of the Rocky Mountains. Lots of peaks and valleys. According to Colonel Sanders, it's supposed to look like a "gentle rolling hill"...which is how he could tell I wasn't ovulating in the first place. So, the fact that it's been pretty constant over the past month is a great thing. Over the past few days, however, it's been dropping substantially and was several degrees below average. Whatever, I thought...our bedroom is cold and it's not like we live in the tropics. But, this morning, my temperature was several degrees above what it usually is and so, I took an ovulation test.
Turns out, Clomid works. I know that my odds of getting pregnant this month are still slim, but at least I have something to work with. At least we know that I respond to Clomid. And this is the little victory I'm grateful for.
Turns out, Clomid works. I know that my odds of getting pregnant this month are still slim, but at least I have something to work with. At least we know that I respond to Clomid. And this is the little victory I'm grateful for.
